| Add RSS Feed

April 12, 2008

By Karen Cortell Reisman, MS

In 1997, Richard Carlson, PhD, published a little book that became a big phenomenon. "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff" was an instant bestseller, spawning a line of "Don't Sweat" books that cover everything from motherhood to money matters.

I argue with Carlson's premise. We do sweat the small stuff, because it's the small stuff that finally makes us crazy. My challenge for you is to figure out what's behind the "small stuff" and how to leverage the situation to your best advantage.

You've probably had stressful times over the course of your life. Most likely you've handled the major challenges with finesse. Then you find yourself going nuts over the little things.

Last week my garage door opener button did not work. This is the button you press on your way to your car in the garage. Yes, the button that always works. The button that swiftly raises the garage door so that you can exit the garage for your not-one-minute-to-spare appointment.

Did I mention that the button did NOT work? And, must I admit to you that I then began to bang on the button with all of my vim and vigor! Did I mention that I then had to disattach the thing, raise the garage door manually, and then get out of the car — once the car was out of the garage — and then manually close the door? Did I mention that I was already on a tight schedule?

You guessed it — I was "sweating the small stuff." And it wasn't pretty. And at the time, it did not appear to be small.

Let me back up and say that my husband had decided to fix up the garage. He hired a neat garage store company to rearrange, reconfigure, and redo the space. Think the closet designers who do magic for your closet. This company did a wonderful job of updating our junky garage. But, they moved my cheese — oops, I mean they moved my button! And now it did NOT work anymore.

As I finally drove away toward my client's office, I asked myself a couple of questions: First, how could I solve this problem? And second, what was my anger REALLY about?

The first question on problem solving — the answer just popped into my head — change car places in the garage with my husband! We have two separate garage door openers, so all I had to do was transfer places! It was that simple. Now I had solved MY problem, and he could solve the button issue (which he did).

The second question was also not that hard to answer. What was really bugging me? During the same week as the garage makeover my beloved uncle passed away, I had a cold, and my laptop got stolen at a convention center during the lunch break in between the two presentations I was giving.

I was sweating the small stuff due to all of the big stuff circling the perimeter of my world that I was handling with a fair amount of grace. No, I did not need a therapist to tell me that my displaced anger was being leveled toward a defenseless and broken garage door button!

So, here are my questions for you as you face the little aggravations in your life that may be the final straw for your emotional well-being:

When you "sweat the small stuff" ...

1. What is your reaction really about?
2. How can you solve this issue, and the probable bigger issues?
3. Where's the humor?

As I have relayed this incident to my friends, we have really laughed about my over-the-top reaction to the garage door button! And I laugh every day that I park my car in the other space, which is actually closer to the door of my home!

© Karen Cortell Reisman, MS

Karen Cortell Reisman, MS, author of two books, speaks about Einstein, her cousin, in a one-woman show, "Letters From Einstein," intertwining personal letters from Einstein in a message about how to thrive in this crazy world. She also speaks about how to Speak For Yourself® so others listen and trust you. To buy Karen's books or purchase other learning tools, go to www.LettersFromEinstein.com or www.SpeakForYourself.com.

| Add RSS Feed