Gilmore-isms and Fire Starters

Feb. 1, 2005
First of all, I would like to apologize for the delay in publishing this Editor’s Note. This apology is extended to the three male hygienists who read RDH.

First of all, I would like to apologize for the delay in publishing this Editor’s Note. This apology is extended to the three male hygienists who read RDH. One is likely browsing through this issue during the final period of a blowout in an NCAA conference basketball championship. Another one is taking a moment to scan the table of contents during a kid’s soccer practice, staying in the car because it’s too cold out there. “There’s not a single article in RDH with the word ‘annihilation’ in it,” he’s thinking. The third one is reading the magazine you-know-where, not too long after dinner.

Speaking of bathroom reading, a “guide to Gilmore-isms” made it into mine. The pamphlet is part of a DVD package that contains one season of episodes of WB’s “Gilmore Girls.” I have opened the guide during these private moments and examined some of the historical references and double-meanings that appear in each episode.

This doesn’t mean I have started watching the TV show. It just means that, on Tuesday nights or any night when a DVD from a previous season is airing on the family television, I will stand there waiting for a commercial break so I can ask the significant other if she meant the third drawer from the top or the bottom to find a pair of scissors in this house that I allegedly live in.

I stare at the TV long enough to realize that Luke - the owner of the diner and current suitor of Lorelai - is the only character I like.

I know that the three male readers have been waiting five years for the male editor of RDH to come forth with this declaration. Sorry about the delay, fellas. I think all four of us males agree that, if we can put duct tape over the mouths of Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, the world would be a better place. And the mother, Emily Gilmore ... goodness gracious! Who has a mother-in-law that bad?

Seriously, even if it’s a chick show, the dialogue is quite clever, the actors are very adept at delivering these complex lines, and the storylines can be intriguing. It really is not a mystery about why the “Gilmore Girls” were a finalist in the “favorite TV drama” competition last month in the People’s Choice Awards. The show should have been nominated for The Golden Globes (HBO’s “Entourage” and ABC’s “Desperate Housewives” are better? Even though I don’t watch “Gilmore Girls,” I don’t think so.).

It’s just, you know, if there’s a television show that ought to have a dental hygienist on it, the “Gilmore Girls” would be it. Connecticut, which is the setting of the show, has at least 1,083 dental hygienists, according to RDH circulation figures.

Lorelai: Well, thank you for the cleaning. I wish I could keep the inn this clean. Is there anything else?

Dental hygienist: Unless Rory is seeing someone else in New Haven, she needs to come in for a checkup.

Lorelai: I don’t think Yale has toothbrushing on its curriculum, but I think I trained her well ... or you did.

Dental hygienist: No reason to get cute with me. It’s time for her come in unless she has been treated at another dental office while at school.

Luke: (to dental hygienist) I have some duct tape for Lorelai’s mouth, if you want to borrow it.

The Guest Commentary in this issue is about an issue that I have been following, since there have been numerous postings about it on The so-called “Fire Starters” believe passionately that dental hygiene deserves a little more media exposure than sexy blondes appearing on rum commercials (the Captain Morgan brand). Last time I checked, rum has sugar in it. If they make a rum with Splenda in it, let me know.

The Fire Starters intiated a letter-writing campaign to various news programs last fall, and want to start another one next month. The Guest Commentary by Cathy Seckman is full of details on how to participate.

There’s even a sample letter to a news agency. Unfortunately, I had to, uh, use a special duct tape made for editors on it. It was a little too long for the space allotted to it. But you’ll get the gist of it.

The Fire Starters also provide contact information for the many of the news programs, as well as “Oprah.”

They left one show off - the “Gilmore Girls.” As with most network programming, they just want you to watch - not comment in emails to the production companies. But you can order a Gilmore Girls Candle Tin for $17.95. Or visit a “fan club” online. One fan club provides a list of how to be a Gilmore girl. According to the list, the most important step to accomplish is to “only get married with your bf/gf if he or she proposes by cell phone and after giving you 1,000 yellow daisies.”

Where’s that duct tape?

Mark Hartley is the editor of RDH. He can be contacted at [email protected].