Wanting to be 'attractive'

A tongue-in-cheek look at what-if courses that enhance beauty

by Eva M. Watson, RDH

As practicing dental hygienists, we have enormous responsibilities. Adhering to high clinical standards, building and sustaining long-term patient relations, and participating in continuing education courses are mandatory duties in our field. Without any of these models, the profession will suffer. If you are a confident dental hygiene clinician that takes her professional obligations seriously and ethically, you will succeed.

But what if you're ugly?

I recently came across two job postings for an office:

We are looking for a fun, happy, attractive, team-oriented hygienist for a high-end fee-for-service office.

The receptionist advertisement for the same practice read:

We are looking for a well-spoken, happy, attractive, professional receptionist for a high-end dental office. Must have dental experience and experience in Dentrix software. 36-plus hours a week, paid vacation, etc.; please send resume and photo if possible.

Attractive ... please send photo.

Fair enough. If you fit this physical requirement, you can rest assured the job is yours. Success!

But what if you have wrinkles? Adult acne? A plump, jiggly bottom? What if you have a hairy, protruding, brown mole on your face, saggy breasts, or your hair has the appearance of a wet yak? Some may consider these physical traits as unattractive, not conducive to the job requirements in question, if you will. As credible professionals, what can we do to make ourselves more physically attractive to potential dental employers like the one above? I offer readers two solutions:

• Dental Hygienist and Receptionist Compulsory Make-Over! – After this service is done with you, you'll be looking like a young, wrinkle-free, firm-bottomed dental kitten that will not only get you the jobs mentioned above, but will also reward you with unlimited job security, free lunches, and an inflated sense of favoritism from your new dental employer.

Receptionists: Patients will only see your beauty when you tell them dental implants are not covered under their insurance.

Hygienists: Selling dentistry will be so much easier when you bat your new, chemically-enhanced eyelashes. Everyone needs a make-over, especially those in the dental field. People are watching us.

• Dumb-Down and Push-Up! The Twelve-Week Course for Dental Professionals – Degrees are so overrated. It is possible to become over-educated, you know. What dental employer wants that in his practice? These classes will teach you the ins and outs of suppressing your smarts and self-esteem while simultaneously transforming your physical presence by offering you an array of push-up bras that will surely get you noticed by potential dental employers. This course has been proven to show an increase in performance raises among dental receptionists and hygienists. How can you go wrong? Perky breasts equal more money. Hurray!

If only I practice what I preach, maybe this dental office would have hired me last year when I interviewed with them. It's my loss really, but I'm going to promise myself this: I will commit to beautifying myself for this practice. And when I become the attractive and photo-worthy professional they seek, I will blow them away with my fuller lips and tighter skin. I'll show them!

Eva M. Watson, RDH, is a freelance writer and has been practicing dental hygiene for six years. She is contributing author for dentalbuzz.com. She resides in Highland Park, Ill., with her husband, daughter, and a large cat named Cheese.