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UOR on the waterfront in Norfolk

June 1, 2004
It will be in August, for Pete's sake. Give me a break! Give me a beach!
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by Mark Hartley, Editor

It will be in August, for Pete's sake. Give me a break! Give me a beach!

As you can tell from the map above, the summer versions of RDH Under One Roof conferences have been in places where the concierge says, "You'd like to take a swim? Take the elevator to the sixth floor. Go through the door, and the light switch is just to your left."

Light switch?

"Yeah. It's a dark room, no windows. You won't even be able to see the pool in the dark."

Give me a beach — lots of sunlight.

As far as I can tell, judging from a little surfing around on the Internet, it's probably not a good idea to leap into the water in Norfolk, the site of the summer 2004 RDH Under One Roof. Big boats glide in and out of the Norfolk harbor. Just as the scorecard says about truck drivers vs. motorcycle riders (Truck Drivers 3,491; Motorcycle Riders 0), there's probably a similar score between swimmers vs. boats.

But that's OK. If I really want to swim, I'll catch a ride to a location friendlier to swimmers, such as Virginia Beach — 20 minutes away. Meanwhile, take a look at what's outside our hotel windows (see photo). Marinas and August go very well together too.

Our hotel rooms
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It does beg the question, though: What about the mermaids? They swim, right? Mermaids are the city symbol of Norfolk, and a mermaid is even part of the logo used for the Aug. 5-7 Under One Roof conference. Mermaids have aided quite a few sailors, according to folklore. What do they talk about when they take Coke breaks on one of those rocks jutting up from the ocean floor?

"Yesterday, I was trying to gently guide a yacht into its slip when, out of nowhere, this cruise ship almost runs me over. I was just trying to help this poor skipper out. You could tell he hadn't been on the seas for very long."

The second mermaid nods her head sympathetically, "What can you do? It's dangerous out there."

Ships in the Norfolk harbor are safely guided by mermaids (not pictured) who are well-trained graduates from accredited mermaid schools.
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I haven't checked with a historian, but there are probably some comparisons to be drawn between the mermaid schools of old and the dental hygiene schools of today.

Harbor ships
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"Class, I want to take a break from our discussion about scraping barnacles off the underside of ships with our fins. All of you are progressing very well. I am confident that you will fare well on your exam.

More harbor ships
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"But I have been teaching mermaidism for many years. I want to reiterate that your admirable compassion for wayward sailors also involves educating them. At every step, you must reinforce the principles of skipper education. You must constantly remind sailors about how to prevent accidents at sea before they happen."

Speaking of classes, Norfolk's version of Under One Roof offers some great seminars presented by Anne Guignon, RDH, Victoria DaCosta, RDH, Christine Hovliaras-Delozier, RDH, Janet Hagerman, RDH, Kim Miller, RDH, Trisha O'Hehir, RDH, Vicki McManus, RDH, and Jill Rethman, RDH, as well as assorted hands-on workshops.

There's even an Under One Roof dinner cruise on Friday night — safely guided, of course, by a mermaid.